Updates / Journal

So I'm not sure if this really would go here but I saw others posting updates on whats going on with them and all so I figured it's fine! If not, let me know and I'll stop posting here and someone could delete this that has the ability to.

Basically this thread & posts will be where I write small updates on how I'm doing and whats going on in general, as well as random things sometimes too. Feel free to reply with responses to my posts and all that jazz. I'm open to reading peoples opinions, possible problems, or positive things!

So basically I'm still on Citalopram for awhile now, I can't exactly remember when I started taking it but it's for depression and anxiety. Basically both are getting a bit better, every now and then I get both feelings but it's rare now. My depression was just from not feeling like I'm worth enough and how I feel like everyone hates me even if they tell me how much they like me, but also from my deceased father and how his loss has been hitting me. The anxiety is basically from my phobia of balloons and loud noises, but also going to public school (or well did) and also just being in public sometimes. Basically all in all I haven't been having negative and bad thoughts, which I sort of strangely miss but I'm lively now when I'm with people and talkative (possibly due to the meds).

Is it weird that I miss the feeling of being depressed and feeling like I have no meaning? The bad and negative thoughts in the back of my brain edging me on? I enjoy the sweet embrace of the dark and morbid things, the bad thoughts that fill my brain sometimes. Yes, they still rarely hit me but it's nothing like it was. I probably am weird for saying such but.. it's true.

Anyway, sorry for ranting on and on.. more updates & general writings soon!