Stages of becoming a Proxy

read this first:
https://slenderman.forumotion.net/t420-slendy-might-be-a-good-guy

Okay so i think, maybe even know i'm becoming some sort of proxy.I can't stop it so i'm going to type out the stages the inevitable.
1: Becoming used to slenderman.
I saw him and had slender sickness and extreme paranoia, but eventually it was no longer scary.I got some odd feeling of comfort when he was around and i was kind of live-and-let-live with him. I would be close up and walk by him yet not care at all.

2: Strange habits.
I would sometimes get this weird urge to draw the operator symbol, and eventually i would do it without thinking and out of nowhere.I couldn't even stop myself,my muscles would control themselves and do it against my will.Then i would eventually start walking in the woods everyday when i walk home from school, against my will again and then would stop at this tree everytime,get a minor headache and turn around.

3: Arguing with yourself.
This is a odd one and might not be related,i'm not sure yet. I would occasionally say "He's here,"
and i would instantly counter myself with "No,he's not."

4: Blackouts:
I keep having these sort-of blackouts that last a couple minutes.In these blackouts,i see a man with a mask looking down on me.The words "soon" keep repeating and i had recently blacked out and apparently rented a book on mask making from my school library today.

5: Weird dreams with masked men:
I have had random dreams of masked men speaking to me,their voice is distorted and they seem to be walking closer to me each time.

6: Waking up with injuries and amnesia:
I woke up this morning with bruises on my left rib area and and a big bump on the top of my head and i have no clue how i got them.

7:Memory-dreams:
They are usually memories of blackouts you have when your sleeping, such as me hitting somebody. I've locked my doors at night so nobody will get hurt.

8: Trying to stay-awake:
I don't like hurting others and when i fall asleep some nights,i'll sneak out and attack people and usually only remember fragments in the form of a dream. I try to stay awake but eventually i'll hear this odd noise, like static and i'll fall to sleep. It's weird.

9: Radiation on clothes:
My uncle works at a nuclear power plant upstate and he showed me his Geiger counter when i visited him once, it went off when it brushed against my jacket on the couch when he took it out of his pocket. A small amount and my uncle thought it might of been an error.

Know exactly what you're dealing with. No lie ive had the same problem, if you read my post on the forum it explains a lot of my encounters. The blackout thing though, thats weird. My blackouts consisted of me going on with daily things but when i wake up id have no idea what happened. I got it in class alot when slender man came around. Either i would black out or get really bad migraines. Along with the urge to draw the symbol too. The dreams for me usually werent dreams, but more like memories of my night time blackouts where id sneak out into the woods for who knows what. That's when the injuries started too. I now have a huge scar going from the top of my shoulder down to my elbow from being cut by a proxy. Along with cracked ribs at one point. And a few other more minor injuries.

LoneWolf(X) wrote:

Know exactly what you're dealing with. No lie ive had the same problem, if you read my post on the forum it explains a lot of my encounters. The blackout thing though, thats weird. My blackouts consisted of me going on with daily things but when i wake up id have no idea what happened. I got it in class alot when slender man came around. Either i would black out or get really bad migraines. Along with the urge to draw the symbol too. The dreams for me usually werent dreams, but more like memories of my night time blackouts where id sneak out into the woods for who knows what. That's when the injuries started too. I now have a huge scar going from the top of my shoulder down to my elbow from being cut by a proxy. Along with cracked ribs at one point. And a few other more minor injuries.

I've recently had a dream-memory thing, i had a sort-of memory of me hitting another kid about my head over the head with a peice of metal, he was okay and he punched me in the head. I'm locking myself in at night so i won't hurt anybody.

That might be the best idea. But if it was a proxy then it wouldnt matter. There havent been any rumors or things about people hurting others that arent involved with slender man

Locking yourself up won't stop the operator
If he wants you to be a proxy you don't get any say in it

You can eventually break free possibly. Either that or he just stops using you or kills you. But I agree locking yourself up wont stop him, you'll end up finding yourself somewhere else.

What would one do if one....wanted to be a Proxy?

I have also experience most of these symptoms, but i want to become a proxy. Just to see what he's like up close. Are there any proxies on here?

I would not advise you wanting to be a proxy, honestly though I don't mind slendy around anymore, but you'll probably get seriously injured eventually, or slendy will make his mark on you more and more and just try to keep you back from life, going in too deep will cause you to lose everything i would think. And being a proxy you could get hurt by others while blacked out. I recall one memory where i actually fought one when i was blacked out and he got his arm broken. Idk what happened to him after.

How did you get out of it?

I honestly am not completely sure, i broke out of his hold on my mind. For me how i feel about being a proxy, slendy creates a bond between you and him, and part of that is what makes you do what he wants. I think i broke out of that bond, but because i used to be on the way to being a proxy, i can still sense when hes around and when hes watching.

In all honesty I dont think most humans can break that bond.

You dont want to become a proxy. Im trying not to, Im trying not to lose control of myself.

Eerie how close those experiences are to my own.
I've made peace with it. I enjoy spreading fear in him, causing more people to believe.
Ever heard of the Tulpa effect?
He gets stronger with every new person I educate.

Proxies aren't what the mainstream makes them out to be. They don't always typelikethis, but it's fun when you've got someone cowering. People tend to believe the stories more when they are more believable. Make sense? Someonewhotypes i n a n e e r I e manner is definitely creepy, but not nearly as believable as people who speak normally and share their experiences in a way that keeps people looking over their shoulders when they are alone, like you are.

I was first marked years ago, long before I even came across the Slenderman legends.
It's an honor to be chosen to stand in his presence and not be terrified. I can handle the side effects.

LoneWolf(X) wrote:

You can eventually break free possibly. Either that or he just stops using you or kills you. But I agree locking yourself up wont stop him, you'll end up finding yourself somewhere else.

Over time, your psyche breaks or you just submit to it. That period of time when you are struggling with your sanity is the worst. I was close to just wishing to disappear, but I realized that was foolish. Just accept it and do what you feel like you must do. That's the only way you can live a semi-normal life like this. It eventually becomes the new normal. You get used to it.

It also helps if you get a kick out of convincing others to believe. It's a rush!

hopelessPyromaniac wrote:

What would one do if one....wanted to be a Proxy?

He has to choose. You can interest him by doing research and dragging more people into it with you, but unless he originally chooses you to be a proxy, you'll likely just make yourself a target.

GoulCaller wrote:

I have also experience most of these symptoms, but i want to become a proxy. Just to see what he's like up close. Are there any proxies on here?

Even proxies don't always get to be CLOSE to him. The radiation would be too much. We're only human, after all. You can always tell when he is watching, though. Like a guardian. I wish you could know the feeling.

LoneWolf(X) wrote:

In all honesty I dont think most humans can break that bond.

I find it quite comforting, myself. I can't understand why anyone would fight it.

The tulpa effect I have looked into, not much but I know the basis and what it is and how it works. Yes I do find Our tall friend quite more protective now that I have gotten over him. He's more of an over watch or guardian, if I must say, since I broke free of being a proxy. Which he wasn't a huge fan of I don't believe. But he still comes around to check up on me.

Are you sure you are't still a proxy?
With posts like these, you're instilling belief in at least one extra person, right?
Why keep talking about him when you know educating people is what gets them involved?
You just "feel like it".

Food for thought.

I might be, or I could be someone that likes to help spread the word about him to keep others safe, well, actually maybeI am, just with full knowledge of what I'm doing.

You're welcome.

I see your methods now

See? It's not so bad.

CrypticGrin wrote:

LoneWolf(X) wrote:

You can eventually break free possibly. Either that or he just stops using you or kills you. But I agree locking yourself up wont stop him, you'll end up finding yourself somewhere else.

Over time, your psyche breaks or you just submit to it. That period of time when you are struggling with your sanity is the worst. I was close to just wishing to disappear, but I realized that was foolish. Just accept it and do what you feel like you must do. That's the only way you can live a semi-normal life like this. It eventually becomes the new normal. You get used to it.

It also helps if you get a kick out of convincing others to believe. It's a rush!

I do get that feeling when i convince people that my experiences are real