Hey, I made a story about slenderman

I don't know where to post this, but I think this owrks, so if it's in the wrong spot please move it. Hi, I recently wrote a story about slenderman, and would like some feedback on the intro, which I'm still touching up, such as the end of it. But I would llike as many tips as I can. If you have the time, please read it. I want to make it better and be the first to write a hit slenderman book.
Please excuse the spelling, I am using a laptop and it is dark. Here's the link.

http://www.booksie.com/thrillers/short_story/mrmcshroom/the-man-in-the-suit

I think it is well done I'm glad the admins now let link posting for noobs to
the story is very good so far

to tell you the truth there is a slenderman book called slenderman fiction to fact
but its not a story it talks about real life slenderman stuff

Im the maker of the S Suit anime so i think i may have some pointers

Details are key you got to give some more detail into it not to much or the reader be like
Y U TELL ME ABOUT WHAT T SHIRT BRAND HE USES XD but yay detail gives the readers more to go off of when thay read it and think about

Twist and hiden things
I like to add parts to my work that makes outhers ask whats going on thare in every good story and i like to make ones that no one think will happen i think you know that and it did not need to be put here but safety first XD

Im one of the main slenderman anime me and the maker of Concrete Bees are both makeing animes for slenderman maybe someday you like to work on my anime scrips XD maybe but you can see them at the links i post below you also can find some in photos and slender man topics

My anime S Suit:
https://slenderman.forumotion.net/t309-s-suit-a-slenderman-anime-update-3


Concrete Bees by dafalore
https://slenderman.forumotion.net/t308-concretebeesslenderman-anime-seriesupdate

Thanks bro, I tried to put a lot of detail, but I'm still learning at writing, so I will add details here and there, I think I captured the feelings of the guy pretty well. I'm not much of an anime person though, and everytime I try to draw it I fail. But yes, if more people could give me feedback like this is would be a huge help. And the Fact to fiction thing I've wanted to read but never got around to it, but I knew it wasn't a story.

ok well im glad you like what i talk about and if you get your book ever in stores i buy it

oh and what i was saying by anime is not drawing but righting the scrip for the anime im always looking for scrip writers im trying to get all the scrips done before going into the anime part so if you ever like to help make a scrip or work on some that be nice

and i hope this becomes a well known book when you are done with it good luck

Thanks, I might try anime, I might be good at it.

well you can read the first ep scrip here https://slenderman.forumotion.net/t334-s-suit-pilot-full-reading-only

if you like to hlep on makeing S Suit you can ad me on skype
Maker of S Suit(Thekill9714)
if that don't work try
thekill9714
it in nicknames

BTW i have no mike

Hay i did some more looking around and there is like 5 more slenderman books so your not the first sorry and yes there storys you see a few books the one that got my eye was out of black i search slenderman and this is every thing slenderman

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_sabc?url=search-alias%3Daps&pageMinusResults=1&suo=1347043703488#/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=slenderman&sprefix=slende&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Aslenderman

I wonder if they got permission to publish those books? Because if the Marble Hornets dvds are copyrighted (which I assume they are), they could be sued.

I'm pretty sure it's legal, those books cover the idea of slenderman, or just tell a story about him. If someone makes videos about a species of animal, then someone else makes a documentary or story about that animal, it's legal, so...

Lol i did not bring up any thing about marble hornets but that is a good show but i think thy follow the myth of slenderman slenderman was made on the something awful forums as create paranormal images contest thy where having

mrmcshroom wrote:

I'm pretty sure it's legal, those books cover the idea of slenderman, or just tell a story about him. If someone makes videos about a species of animal, then someone else makes a documentary or story about that animal, it's legal, so...

That's not the same thing though, if characters are copyrighted and such that can't be done (could someone write a Star Wars book based on those characters without Lucas' approval or license and get away with it? No way!). Granted the characters might not be copyrighted, I don't really know. Just hope the books are good though.

Yeah, I already copyrighted an idea for a Anime called S Suit :p

Hee hee!

you wish XD

mrmcshroom wrote:

I don't know where to post this, but I think this owrks, so if it's in the wrong spot please move it. Hi, I recently wrote a story about slenderman, and would like some feedback on the intro, which I'm still touching up, such as the end of it. But I would llike as many tips as I can. If you have the time, please read it. I want to make it better and be the first to write a hit slenderman book.
Please excuse the spelling, I am using a laptop and it is dark. Here's the link.

http://www.booksie.com/thrillers/short_story/mrmcshroom/the-man-in-the-suit

Interesting take on the Slender Man btw.

This is a HOT thread! I can't wait until I get a few moments and get to sit down and read the story!

A good book. This is worthy of an offline book.

Hey thanks bro. After about a year, I reflect and realize that the author who criticized it is a complete moron. I think back at it and I gotta say, it's got better comprehension than some of the new books they have today that are famous.

HI IM NEW TO THIS

It's been quite a while since I wrote this. Think I should remake it? (And complete it, of course.)